Every Day I Start Again
No matter what happened yesterday, today I can start all over again to become the me I'm happy to be.
Sometimes I feel like I really screwed up. With my kids, with my friends, ok mainly with my kids. Omg the pressure of raising loving and kind human beings and feeling like you’re always under a magnifying glass(!)... So I needed to learn how to give myself a break, and forgive myself for acting in a certain way which I’m not really proud of, and keep reminding myself that I’m doing the best I can (even when I tell myself that I’m not) and that I’m actually pretty good most of the time and praise myself for the big and little things that I know I kicked ass at.
Why is it not easy to forgive ourselves? To let go and just try again?
I think it’s because we’re just not used to being kind and loving towards ourselves.
When I’m feeling really low and kicking myself for being or doing whatever, the only one who can get me out of that dark hole and pick me up is ME.
Getting love and support from someone else is awesome, and it helps allot, but to really be able to forgive myself and go past it, I need my own approval. My own inner self who loves me at all times, no matter what, and KNOWS how good I actually am, even though I may believe that I’m not. Telling me, whispering to me, singing in my ears that I am loved. That I am never alone. That I am love. And then flows into my mind a stream of beautiful examples to prove all of that to me until I am soothed. Until I believe again.
It may take a few moments for me to reconnect and remind myself that It’s all good, or it may take longer… days longer. And that’s why I love this attitude of starting again, every single day.
I find it way more helpful and beneficial to my general happiness and well being than dwelling on whatever happened or didn’t happen, and after years of dwelling, and believing that I’m doomed to be miserable for the rest of my life, I choose to strive towards feeling better and to help myself get there.
I’m mostly really good at practicing starting again every day, however I do find it much much easier to start soothing myself on the night before.
Every night when I’m snug in my bed, closing my eyes and getting ready to drift off to wonderland, I take a deep breath and say “hi” to my inner self. (and I say “hi” back ;-))
This always makes me smile and takes away the seriousness of being me. It adds a light heartedness that I find really helps me fall asleep on a positive note, regardless of what might have happened in my day.
Then I tell myself “I love you” :-)
Because we all want to be loved, and self love is the most important one in my opinion. The more I love myself and the more I feel good about myself, the better I am with the people around me.
Falling asleep feeling nice and loved sets the stage for the next day. When we wake up and open our eyes again, the last thing we remember is feeling good, before all of our usual thought come rushing into our heads. And when they do, at least we’ve had a moment of feeling good to start the day with. With practice we can train ourselves to stay with that good feeling for a bit longer before going with the turbulence of emotions that our new day brings, and I personally find it to be super helpful on the days when I feel crappy.
On the days when I feel good, connecting with my inner loving self is easier and falling asleep feeling loved and appreciated is easier, and it makes it easier to start the next day with a big smile and relaxed attitude.
Doing this on the days I feel ok with myself, no major dramas happened that day, makes it available for me to be able to do this and love myself on the rougher days, so I really recommend it :-)
It could be a really nice self experiment, don’t you think?
Are you gonna try it?